Possibly you’ve heard of Kickstarter, which is a crowd-funding site.  I’ve been a supporter of several projects over the last several years and have been happy with the rewards I’ve garnered that way.  Recently I purchased a new belt, which I like a lot (it lays flat) and am looking forward a colander I bought, which I hope will be much easier to store and clean.  I’m also glad that Terry Pratchett’s “Trollbridge” will be released on film soon.

I’ve enjoyed learning more about some of the possibilities out there for new technology and ways to help make things better. The various 3D printers are interesting, as are the new skateboards and bikes.  I’m not sure what some of these operating systems referred to are, so it’s interesting to learn what’s out there.  I have be interested in some of the green projects and disappointed by young women with a STEM project that didn’t provide any real details, so did not get any support.

I’ve not been moved by the card designs, hovercraft and remote security devices though.  I’m on the fence about wearable technology.  (I heard an interview on NPR with a doctor that used Google glasses to improve the quality of surgery he performed, which is cool, but I still don’t want a pair.)  Stuff for pets, alternate energy sources, cool gadgets and more but much of it doesn’t move me.  I like that stuff that does make me feel like it would be cool to own and spend my money on.

I also like the opportunities it gives some people to do what they might never have done otherwise.  The belt for example.  The creator didn’t pocket a lot of money overall, but now has some machinery, some experience and some contacts, which is valuable itself.  It’s like my own Alice in Wonderland portal and sometimes they deliver the “drink me” mystery surprise.  😛

Tonight I watched the final movie in The Hobbit trilogy.  Some of it was extremely contrived and gimmicky in a way that was tedious or uncomfortable.  But I appreciated it when that stuff was done around the central character, Bilbo Baggins.  I’m trying to “put my finger on it”, as it were and figure out what made me enjoy some of it while other similar behavior had the opposite effect.

In trying to narrow it down, I can see patterns in what I liked.  One piece of “over the top”-ness was Legolas’s fight scenes, but I actually enjoyed these, as they help support his performance in the subsequent movies.  That made the tricks feel justifiable.

Second, Martin Freeman did an excellent job as Bilbo and I seemed to appreciate anything that was done in his character’s role.  This is where the crux of my issues can be found I think, in that most of Bilbo’s interactions are based on respecting, caring and friendship.  Many of the other “stunts” are tricks of the computer or camera and don’t really add any value, in my opinion.  But all that Bilbo does, is because his sense of caring and loyalty weigh heavily against his sense of honor.  This is what was important about The Fellowship of the Rings as well.

Another thing I appreciate about the movie is the sense that love and friendship can result in great pain, but that the pain does not outweigh all that love and friendship meant, regardless of how short or how long before the loss.  This is a particular issue for me, as I have a paranoia about my husband and/or my father passing away.

That everyone dies is a certainty but I occasionally fret over the “when”, which is completely out of my control.  (I may pass first or with them, which kind of makes my fretting fruitless, especially since I don’t have control, but I fret nonetheless.)  My point being that I appreciate the reminders that love is wonderful and is not to be avoided for fear of any pain that may follow.

So I keep missing posts on Fridays.  I’ve figured out that quitting time hits and I stop thinking about anything I should be doing. After 5:30, my agenda is food, nap and games, in no particular order.  In contrast, Saturdays are usually laundry and grocery shopping days.  (Today is an exception since I had to grocery shop Wednesday after being so sick.)

Happily, I made it to the gym and got some exercise in for the day.  Since I was smart enough to eat breakfast this morning, I wasn’t ravenous after the gym and was able to look forward to my sandwich and drive past the fast food joint without a qualm.  My husband made chicken noodle soup so the house smells wonderful and homey.  Most of the laundry is done so it’s been a relaxing day.

I’m thinking I may have to plan to blog on Friday mornings, or I may never get a Friday done.  Which reminds me, the point is to get something done and not so much exactly how you have to get it done.  Not the same as “The ends justify the means” by a long shot, but just that a routine is helpful, except when it’s not going to happen at all.  So, I’ll adjust as needed and hopefully start posting on Fridays too.  Night all!

So I recently wrote that I was thinking about motivation and how people change.  Tonight, I was at the gym (not a normal occurrence mind you) and someone was working with a personal trainer.  She’d just started to tell him that she felt like she’d gotten a full workout in since she had to survey a Top 10 college football stadium that day, meaning walking up and down all of the steps.  The trainers not really listening and makes a comment about how she’s had a break long enough and to get back to it.

It pissed me off.  I had been thinking about trying the personal trainer but someone bullying me into exercising is so UN-motivating for me, and I now know not to waste the money.  I’d rather have a gym buddy that can say “Take a rest if you need, but don’t lose the momentum.”

I was actually even more irked when, a few minutes later, he mentions his shift is done in 15 minutes and he hollers out to a buddy across the gym.  So you not only pay, it’s not really very sincere or heartfelt, at least in this situation.

But then I am reminded of The Labyrinth (David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly in Jim Henson movie) where Jennifer’s character looks up and says “You have no power over me.”  I love that line.  And it reminds me that motivated or not, it’s all up to me.

Following the update on the stomach cramps which I think was caused by eating a pound of pickles, I wound up with a 102 degree fever, on the brink of passing out before I cooled down, which had me debating 1) waking my husband at 2 am in the morning to take me to the ER or 2) calling 911 and having him find out when they showed up.  Remembering prior trips to the ER, I wasn’t looking forward to waiting for hours in some small cubby room without being able to fall asleep, nor the prospect of getting an IV since I figured I was dehydrated some already at that point.  I did manage to fall asleep (a few times actually, lol), with my fever falling throughout the night.

My husband kindly took care of getting something for us to eat, since I’d just got the fridge cleaned out (thank you sis!) and was sick before heading out to the grocery store.  I made it to the grocery store tonight and am VERY thankful I had a list because midway through my stomach was cramping in hunger.  I managed to stick to the list and missed only 2 things trying to high-tail it out of there.  Once again, my husband was fabulous and he immediately cooked dinner.  So, I’m feeling much better (and will not bite your arm off if you should wander by).  And now, I’m back on track with a posting too!  Night everyone.  I’m catching some more Zzzz’s!

Saturday, I blinked and the day was gone, without a posting.  Sunday, I compounded that by being very lazy.  I also ate too many pickles, and spent most of the day doubled over, in excruciating pain from stomach cramps.  In hindsight, the vinegar is bound to mess up your internal pH balance and then there’s the roughage and salt.  Fortunately, my husband figured out what the cause was before I went to the doctor.  Plenty of water and lots of rest and I’m almost all set again, although dinner does not sound appealing even now, at 9 pm.

I’m still struggle with doing what I need to be doing and taking care of myself in the right way.  Happily, this is not a PASS or FAIL kind of thing, and I can always behave differently tomorrow than I did today.  (That lesson took a long time too.)  Then again, change is rarely like a light-switch, flipping on or off.  (And when it is, it’s usually drastic and traumatic.)

Also, giving yourself love and understanding when you aren’t perfect isn’t always something everyone “just KNOWS.” Sometimes you have to learn it for yourself and that too takes time.  Sometimes you have to try days-on-end, until finally, you make that change and it sticks.  So, keep trying for balance and remember not to eat all the pickles in one sitting!

I started exercising again, which always causes me some period of adjustment to my sleep schedule, especially as I usually get up around 4 am because of all of the extra water I’m drink.  As I lay there, not falling back to sleep, I realized I hadn’t actually finished my last post which was left unposted.  So I missed another day.

Yesterday, Terry Pratchett died.  He was one of my favorite authors and I found his skill and with a pleasure to read and reread.  His collection of Discworld characters made a big impact on me.  A friend recommended Reaper Man to me and I bought Colour of Magic at the airport on my way home from Scotland.  I got hooked and was very pleased there were already so many books available.

My favorite is Thud, which builds a lot upon previous books and includes many of the characters I love as well as introducing a few new ones.  Then it’s Carpe Jugulum, Thief of Time and Nightwatch.  Also the Tiffany Aching series with the Nae McFeegles (6 inch high blue men in kilts that curse and steal sheep, lol).  I appreciated The Last Hero, including the illustrations.

I’ve donated to Snowgun Films Kickstarter campaign for the making of Troll Bridge (released soon I think).  I got my sister hooked and am working on my niece (twisting invisible handlebar mustache here).  I can refer to so many passages and quotes.  I appreciated the way he really understood people and how he flipped the premise “anything technology sufficiently advanced looks like magic.”

I’m sadden by his loss so much only because his impact was so great.  It was a pleasure to have so many adventures in Discworld and his other stories.

Today I’m thinking about what motivates me and what motivates other people.  Especially since I’m tired and not entirely motivated to write a blog today.  😛

That’s because I was up till 4:30 am, with a brilliant idea to motivate and challenge some friends to join me in a kickball competition over the summer.  (From experience, I felt I had to get up and write the email before I completely forgot all the really good points I had to motivate them.)

There are a few planned activities at work that do not motivate me to participate.  Partly because I’m not sure what the benefit is (it’s not very clear why I want to join the book club) and partly because I’m looking for activities that do more than just have me meet other people.  It almost feels like a date, in that the pressure of that opening conversation is so intense and I’m not sure why.  I’d feel better if someone were to share how the networking gave them a different opportunity or a change they made as a result.

I’m looking for something that makes me feel good and causes me to grow, and does it without feeling like someone else is getting credit for my efforts.  I can think of several examples where that has happened, so I know it’s possible.  One of the factors that is motivating to me is when there is a plan and that plan is shared ahead of time, so expectations are clear.  I know what I’m getting for my participation.  I also like understanding what the progression is supposed to be.

I haven’t isolated other factors, so I’ll keep mulling over this and look for some amazing insights.  Hopefully not at 4:30 am again though. =)

One more post on my perceptions.  I didn’t need glasses until I was in my 30’s.  After wearing them for a few years, I started having dreams where I was wearing my glasses in my dreams and was seeing everything through the lens frame borders.  I feel like our own perspectives can be like that.  That we can figure out we aren’t seeing things as they are, and then find lenses and frames that help us see better.

I meet regularly with a group of women and we discuss various things, including the ways we limit ourselves.  We spend a lot of time taking care of others and have been setting boundaries so we are the only ones (or the ones any longer) taking on various responsibilities.  Someone else can take notes at meetings.  Or bring a card for people to sign.  Or plan the potluck Christmas lunch.  None of these things are bad things, but it’s old feeling like we have to so they get done.  If they really need to get done, someone else can step up to the plate.

We’re also giving ourselves more credit for the little things.  You took the stairs today.  YAYYYY!! That’s a positive improvement and let’s not belittle it or compare it to anyone else.  There are so many ways we can adjust our prescription lenses and frames and to see the world differently.  What changes will you make?

Yesterday was International Women’s Day.  This actually ties into my perception post from yesterday.  I was thinking about the ways that my perceptions are filtered.  For example, I’ve been looking at house designs and came across an advert for an $800 toilet.  I was shocked the then, I have NO idea how much a good toilet costs and, if I had to go without, or pay $800, I would find it would be a cost I would incur.  (I just looked. Home Depot has them for $179 + tax.)

My mom made me take auto shop in high school, so I have some understanding of a car and how it works and some of the parts that are frequently mentioned.  I’ve changed oil once in my life (in the class) and never since.  (Mostly because I worry about the jack.)  I’ve only made one used car and one new car purchase.  I have a motorcycle license but never rode again beyond getting the license.

While I don’t have kids, being the oldest of 6, with the youngest born when I was 13 1/2 years old, means I can swap diaper-changing, kid vomiting, lunch packing and homework helping stories with anyone.  I was single for a very long time (in some relationships for part of the time, but never committed long-term) and only married late in life.  I recall one coworker asking me how married life was now and then was shocked to find that my husband and I work on the same floor at our company.  She said she’d be like “You left the milk out again!” but since marriage is still so new and different than so much of my life, I don’t have that same perception.

Back to Women’s Day.  I’m glad to see all of the discussions that are taking place and I’m working towards breaking free from my own self-imposed or self-tolerated restrictions.  I’m also talking to people, (not just women) about taking action, starting with the simple things.

I was grocery shopping and the clerk came out of the backroom to find a cart had been pushed close to the doors, so that he hit the cart walking out.  He made comments about that not being a good place for the cart, so I asked him why he left it in that spot.  He replied he didn’t know why but still left the cart in the same unsafe spot.  It’s difficult to take action in the right direction, if you aren’t used to taking any action at all.

I’ll think more about my “miss” perceptions as well as my white colored lenses, and think of some changes I can make to change my views.

After posting, I saw this on Facebook.  Definitely good points!